Yesterday the light bulb in my desk lamp went out yet again. I immediately checked my cabinets for a replacement and discovered I didn’t have the correct bulbs for it. It requires a lower wattage so I’ve been sure to always keep a supply of them. At first I became upset and I thought to myself…NO, I don’t want to be in the dark at night! I actually haven’t been able to sleep with the lights out for an entire night for several months. I have been teased about it quite often, but the person never asked me…why?
Well, I quickly thought of three possible options: Number #1 – go to the store and buy the exact bulbs I need for it. Number #2 – buy a brand new lamp so I can use my current light bulbs instead. Number #3 – buy a night light. Yes, that’s it I’ll get a night light…problem solved! Then I thought more about it and recalled that I haven’t used a night light since I was about two years old.
Am I afraid of the dark? I suppose in a way I am. However, it’s not the dark itself though that concerns me. It is being unable to see if something were to happen in my surroundings. Thus, the light helps me feel like I would be alright. Today is yet another gloomy day so when I awoke this morning I noticed there was no sunshine anywhere in sight. It is a dark(ish) day and I feel it’s a good thing for me for this reason. I must spend more time eventually becoming accustomed to the dark. Finally, I realized my night light is actually just a ‘bandage’ to cover my wound — NOT a solution. What I need to do is trust again that I’ll be OK no matter if it’s in the darkness of night or the light of day.
I did look around online and I found this beautiful night light. It caught my eye because turtles are some of my favorite animals. I looked closely for a minute at it and saw something there…reassurance.
Whether we are human beings or animals we all learn about trust via bonds within our family units. The baby turtle riding peacefully on its mother’s back makes me think of starting to trust others again even if it’s slowly and steadily.